The time we went to a fine restaurant

We're back. After many years of adventures in dimensions where there are no Internet, such as Jupiter and beyond, we have finally found a connection. Although it would take too long to discuss our interstellar adventures, such as those against the Daleks (yes, they are real), we have decided to remain on Earth for this tale of daring do.

Our tale begins as we approached a location named Alaphutte's, which is Latin for "Latin". The following conversation took place.

"Well, Tejbir, turns out Buzz Lightyear is evil."
"I told you, Nick. I can always predict the moral nature of action figures. Luckily, we were able to avoid his epic laser with ninja reflexes."
"All this talk about lasers is making me hungry."
"I share your opinion. Why, look at that fine eatery over there, that looks like a place where two refined citizens such as ourselves would partake in some sort of expensive meal."
"Why, their menu looks quite appetising. After you."

We entered the restaurant, wooed some ladies with our good looks (and posteriors), entertained the waiters with our witty banter, and resurrected a man who died in his chair. Then it was time to find a table.

We interrupted a Star Wars-themed party, mistaking it for a meeting of the Jedi High Council. However, Nick suspected it wasn't quite right, as not only was Darth Maul present, but there were several balloons. Nick and Tej had learnt to be weary of these helium-based lifeforms on their raid on the Planet Balloonus IV, and it's resident King of Balls.

We ordered our entrees, which were rather delightful dishes of various description. We then had the main, which also was up to our fine dining standards. It was then time for dessert, and we could not resist ordering one of the Ninja's finest foods, chocolate fondue. "Fondue" is French for "I'm quite fond of you, ninja". We took part in the customary fondue stick duel, which Nick, like the Wikipedia game, was undefeatable at. We then ate the fondue. And this is where it gets interesting.

Turns out Alaphutte is actually Latin for "Ahahaha, turns out we're pirates". Believe it or not, the entire establishment was run and managed by pirates. And Daarvid wasn't even there. They subjected Nick to brainfreeze with Antarctican ice cream from Antarctica, and Tej spilt some chocolate on himself. However, not even pirates could remove the holiness from fondue, which Tej drank a glass of and then spat out to summon AWESOME NINJA POWERS. Tej then used these AWESOME NINJA POWERS to defeat the pirates of Ala-PHAIL-ette's and then teleported himself and Nick away to Ninja HQ 2.0

It was then decided that Tej and Nick were too refined for that pirate-filled, mistranslating restaurant, so the search for an even fancy-pantsier establishment to infiltrate and entertain began...