The time we went to an awesome food place

I have been recently criticised/paid out for the high level of intelligence displayed in the latest blog post. Apparently, this blog has no place for writers with a superb vocabulary. So, for you readers lacking intellect, I shall repost the latest post with more stupidity, just how you like it:

Here. After a long time of stuff in space where there is no Internet, such as Uranus, we have found a Internet machine. It would take too long to rambled about our space tales, like those against the Daleks (yes, they are real), so we give you an Earth tale of AWESOMENESS.

Our word-blog-writing-thing begins as we got near a building named Alaphutte's, which is Latin for "Latin". Then we said this:

"OMG BUZZ IS BAD :O."
":O BUT WE PWNT WITH NINJA STUFF :D"
"I NEED FOOZDZ"
"ME 2. KEWL FOOD PLACE OVER THERE"
"FONDUE FTW"

We walked in, mooned some chicks, owned the waiters, and shook a guy until he woke up. Then it was time to find a table.

We sat with a Star Wars-themed party, thinking it was Jedis or something. Nick's spidey-senses tingled, as Darth Maul was there and there there were balloons. Nick and Tej were scared of balloons.

We ordered our pre-main meals, which were awesome. We then had the not-pre-main, which was also awesome. Then time for dessert, and had the Ninja's finest food: chocolate fondue. "Fondue" is French for Paris or something. We had a sword fight, which Nick, like the Wikipedia game, was undefeatable at. We then ate the fondue. And this is where it gets awesome.

Turns out Alaphutte is actually Latin for "Pirates". Believe it or not, the place was pirate-acious. And Daarvid wasn't even there. They made Nick's thinking thing hurt with bad ice cream, and Tej had an oopsy. But, fondue is awesome, which Tej spat out to get AWESOME NINJA POWERS. Tej then used these AWESOME NINJA POWERS to defeat the pirates of Ala-PHAIL-ette's and then teleported himself and Nick away to Ninja HQ 2.0

It was then decided that Tej and Nick were too awesome for that pirate-filled nom-shack, so the looking for an even awesomer gob-shop to sneak in and ninja-ise began...