Regular readers will know that we recently challenged Guitar Hero Kate to a busk off via blog.
We instructed her that if she agreed, all she had to do was leave a comment. She left four. Eager.
We have decided that because she commented four times, she wants a Best Of Four busk off series.
The conditions are:
1. Every week we shall busk at opposite ends of Rundle Mall for four weeks
2. If it is two all, we have a final tie-breaker.
Kate, if you're ready, leave a comment. If you're not ready, still leave a comment. (yes, that's right. You can't get out of this)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
The return of Daarvid: Part 3
Previously on "The return of Daarvid": "I'ma gonna getcha!"
Our constant feud with Daarvid had reached breaking point. It was time to make the final move. Time to wash his brain of evil. With a deadly brain-washing sponge.
We sat in Ninja HQ (known to commoners as the Mac Lab), formulating a plan.
"Alright, I'll grab him. You cut his head open and steal his brain."
"Sounds like a plan."
We then whistled innocently as we approached him. He was totally convinced that we were acting innocently.
"Oh look, it's my arch-nemises Tej and Nick, but they're just whisting innocen-"
"Now Tej!"
*grabbing noises*
"Nooooo! I was totally fooled by your plans"
"Yes you were! Now watch as I cut open your head and steal your brain for maximum washing!"
"Hahahahah! My brain won't be caught that easy! BRAIN-LEGS ACTIVATE!"
And then to our surprise, Daarvid's brains suddenly got up and leapt away with robotic legs!
Our constant feud with Daarvid had reached breaking point. It was time to make the final move. Time to wash his brain of evil. With a deadly brain-washing sponge.
We sat in Ninja HQ (known to commoners as the Mac Lab), formulating a plan.
"Alright, I'll grab him. You cut his head open and steal his brain."
"Sounds like a plan."
We then whistled innocently as we approached him. He was totally convinced that we were acting innocently.
"Oh look, it's my arch-nemises Tej and Nick, but they're just whisting innocen-"
"Now Tej!"
*grabbing noises*
"Nooooo! I was totally fooled by your plans"
"Yes you were! Now watch as I cut open your head and steal your brain for maximum washing!"
"Hahahahah! My brain won't be caught that easy! BRAIN-LEGS ACTIVATE!"
And then to our surprise, Daarvid's brains suddenly got up and leapt away with robotic legs!
"I'ma gonna get away from you, Tej and Nick! Muhahahahahaha!"
Daarvid then was under our control, and we had yet another victory. Hooray for us!Nick leapt up and took the chase. Ninjas are much faster than robots, and so Nick eventually caught the robot brain.
"Tej get the detergent!"
Nick then washed the brain with a sponge and scrubbed off his evil tendencies, and educated him in they ways of the ninja.
"Tej get the detergent!"
Nick then washed the brain with a sponge and scrubbed off his evil tendencies, and educated him in they ways of the ninja.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
A message for Nick
As many of you have probably read Nick is very good at calling me a cynical turd/bastard, well Nick I will tell you why my reviews are better than yours.
1.I give an accurate representation of what I think and I don't fill the whole review with the word AWESOME.
2. I don't fall in love with every movie like you do. Nick I accuse you of being a movie whore!
3.I don't ruin movies for readers.
That is why Nick, my reviews (not cynical but accurate) are better than yours.
1.I give an accurate representation of what I think and I don't fill the whole review with the word AWESOME.
2. I don't fall in love with every movie like you do. Nick I accuse you of being a movie whore!
3.I don't ruin movies for readers.
That is why Nick, my reviews (not cynical but accurate) are better than yours.
Nick's Review of Indiana Jones 4
Well, Tej decided to be a cynical turd again and decided to hate an AWESOME movie.
First of all, if you want a realistic movie, do not see this. Go watch a documentary. If you want to see a movie that totally pushes the boundaries of reality, but then breaks the boundaries of AWESOMENESS see Indy 4.
That fact should become obvious when you see Indy survive a nuclear explosion by hiding in a fridge. But then cue a great movie with an interesting plot, constant awesome action scenes, amazing music, and an awesome cast (e.g. Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LeBeouf, John Hurt, Alan Dale, and Janitor from Scrubs).
If I had any criticism it would be that Sean Connery wasn't in it. Disappointing, Sean. Some of you won't like the fact that the movie is about aliens and spaceships and Indy being Mutt's father and other spoilers.
Anyway, right up there with the originals. Level ONE. P-p-p-platinum Indy!
WARNING - MAJOR SPOILERS ABOVE
First of all, if you want a realistic movie, do not see this. Go watch a documentary. If you want to see a movie that totally pushes the boundaries of reality, but then breaks the boundaries of AWESOMENESS see Indy 4.
That fact should become obvious when you see Indy survive a nuclear explosion by hiding in a fridge. But then cue a great movie with an interesting plot, constant awesome action scenes, amazing music, and an awesome cast (e.g. Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LeBeouf, John Hurt, Alan Dale, and Janitor from Scrubs).
If I had any criticism it would be that Sean Connery wasn't in it. Disappointing, Sean. Some of you won't like the fact that the movie is about aliens and spaceships and Indy being Mutt's father and other spoilers.
Anyway, right up there with the originals. Level ONE. P-p-p-platinum Indy!
WARNING - MAJOR SPOILERS ABOVE
Tej's Review of Indiana Jones 4
WARNING - MAJOR SPOILERS ahead
Kwatchii- the sound of hearing a whip crack. Music to my ears, well it used to be. The new installment of the Indiana Jones series has left me bitterly disappointed. If you want action I would recommend you go and watch this film, however if you want a good story line keep away. The ending is the greatest let down in the history of the blog. An alien ship taking off at the end of a movie set in the 1960's? Spielberg must be running out of ideas because I' m pretty sure that was how E.T ended. However as mad as I am at the end of movie, I was pleased for 85% of the movie. Everything up to the last 15 minutes was worth watching so i would recommend walking out just before it ends. I would rate Indiana Jones 4 a level 3, worth watching, but only once.
Kwatchii- the sound of hearing a whip crack. Music to my ears, well it used to be. The new installment of the Indiana Jones series has left me bitterly disappointed. If you want action I would recommend you go and watch this film, however if you want a good story line keep away. The ending is the greatest let down in the history of the blog. An alien ship taking off at the end of a movie set in the 1960's? Spielberg must be running out of ideas because I' m pretty sure that was how E.T ended. However as mad as I am at the end of movie, I was pleased for 85% of the movie. Everything up to the last 15 minutes was worth watching so i would recommend walking out just before it ends. I would rate Indiana Jones 4 a level 3, worth watching, but only once.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
A public challenge
Dear Guitar Hero Kate,
We challenge you to a challenge that it has never been seen in the world of challenging.
Not a dance-off, not a ninja-off (because we would obviously win), but a..............
We challenge you to a challenge that it has never been seen in the world of challenging.
Not a dance-off, not a ninja-off (because we would obviously win), but a..............
BUSK OFF
If you agree to this challenge, Guitar Hero Kate, leave a comment, and we'll get our publicity ninjas to contact your publicity Guitar Heroes.
The prize for the winner unless it is Guitar Hero Kate shall be all the busk money....and a square metre of the Planet Guitaro Omicron IX (or if Kate defies the scientific Laws of Awesomeness, Planet Ninjitsu IV).
Be there, or not be there!
The prize for the winner unless it is Guitar Hero Kate shall be all the busk money....and a square metre of the Planet Guitaro Omicron IX (or if Kate defies the scientific Laws of Awesomeness, Planet Ninjitsu IV).
Be there, or not be there!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The day I proposed to a billboard
Greetings readers.
Many Earth weeks ago, Tej and Nick went on a quest to find Tej a ninjaette.
He wore his finest penguin/ninja/James Bond suit, armed with an arse.....nal of pick up lines such as
"I'm Batman"
"You're beautiful. Can you cook and clean too?"
"I may not be the best looking guy here but I'm the only one talking to you"
For some unknown reasons, Tej's charms weren't having their usual effect.
Then Ninja Nick decided he needed to be much more epic. A beautiful warrior woman was standing still as a calm lake on the horizon.
This conversation followed:
"Tej, ask her out! No wait, propose to her!"
"Good idea Nick!"
"Wait! It's just a billboard!"
"Oh well, this is best chance I'll ever get of getting a true ninjaette!"
As Tej approached the mysterious warrior woman he saw that she was in fact a poster of one of the stars from TV's Gladiators!
Tej didn't let her lack of life or breathing or movement get to him. He knelt down and in his awesome ninja style he said:
"Destiny, greatest of the Gladiators will you marry me!"
Throughout the whole ordeal, Destiny's expression, appearance, and general behaviour was exactly like this:
"(lack of sound)"
Nick held his breath.
By-standers were speechless with awe.
Tej felt as if he was about to explode...
Tej came back to Nick....without the Destiny billboard beside him.
"Oh well, she didn't say no."
"No, she didn't Nick and that's good enough for me."
On a sidenote, Nick then married the Gladiator, Thunder, and had ninja/Gladiator children with her.
Many Earth weeks ago, Tej and Nick went on a quest to find Tej a ninjaette.
He wore his finest penguin/ninja/James Bond suit, armed with an arse.....nal of pick up lines such as
"I'm Batman"
"You're beautiful. Can you cook and clean too?"
"I may not be the best looking guy here but I'm the only one talking to you"
For some unknown reasons, Tej's charms weren't having their usual effect.
Then Ninja Nick decided he needed to be much more epic. A beautiful warrior woman was standing still as a calm lake on the horizon.
This conversation followed:
"Tej, ask her out! No wait, propose to her!"
"Good idea Nick!"
"Wait! It's just a billboard!"
"Oh well, this is best chance I'll ever get of getting a true ninjaette!"
As Tej approached the mysterious warrior woman he saw that she was in fact a poster of one of the stars from TV's Gladiators!
Tej didn't let her lack of life or breathing or movement get to him. He knelt down and in his awesome ninja style he said:
"Destiny, greatest of the Gladiators will you marry me!"
Throughout the whole ordeal, Destiny's expression, appearance, and general behaviour was exactly like this:
"(lack of sound)"
Nick held his breath.
By-standers were speechless with awe.
Tej felt as if he was about to explode...
Tej came back to Nick....without the Destiny billboard beside him.
"Oh well, she didn't say no."
"No, she didn't Nick and that's good enough for me."
On a sidenote, Nick then married the Gladiator, Thunder, and had ninja/Gladiator children with her.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Nick's Review of Iron Man
Well, Iron Man. The man of iron. The Ironic Man. That is what I saw. And I shall review.
But first, congratulations go to Tej for resisting his cynical urges on his review of Deja Vu.
Anyway, Iron Man is one of the many Marvel superhero films of recent times. It had a lot to live up to, with it being in the same boat has Spiderman, X-Men, and Blade. But then if they're in a boat, Iron Man is in an ocean liner. Cos it's awesome. Very awesome.
The special effects were awesome, especially the Jericho missile scene and the dogfight. (Planes fighting, not dogs). Having "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath was also awesome. The plot was surprisingly interesting. It had hilarious lines. And the Iron-Man-goes-around-owning scenes were pretty cool.
But I do have criticisms. One, they spent too long on suit-designing-and-building scenes. They were very annoying eventually, and especially seeing as we had to sit through two of them. This ties in with my second criticism: there weren't enough Iron-Man-goes-around-owning scenes (and too many suit building scenes). For those of you who have seen it, did you realise there's only about three scenes when he owns people in the suit? And the last criticism is that it was left TOO open for Iron Man 2. We don't have any confirmation if any of the villains died. It didn't finish on a cliffhanger, but it didn't finish on a resolution either. Oh, I have one more. I wanted crossovers with other Marvel superheroes. Apparently in a deleted scene they reveal that Stark Industries built Doc Ock's super-arms from Spiderman 2. WHY WOULDN'T YOU KEEP SOMETHING AWESOME LIKE THAT!!!
Anyway, I'm looking forward to Iron Man 2, and the rest of the Avengers series. At the end of the credits (not that I hung around), Samuel L. Jackson comes to Iron Man and says "Join the Avengers". The Avengers is the Marvel superhero team. It has Iron Man, the Hulk, Captain America, Thor, and Ant-Man. In the next few years all these heroes with have their own film and then finish off with a combined film. Schweet.
Anyway, Iron Man is a high level 2. Holy crap. That was a long review
But first, congratulations go to Tej for resisting his cynical urges on his review of Deja Vu.
Anyway, Iron Man is one of the many Marvel superhero films of recent times. It had a lot to live up to, with it being in the same boat has Spiderman, X-Men, and Blade. But then if they're in a boat, Iron Man is in an ocean liner. Cos it's awesome. Very awesome.
The special effects were awesome, especially the Jericho missile scene and the dogfight. (Planes fighting, not dogs). Having "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath was also awesome. The plot was surprisingly interesting. It had hilarious lines. And the Iron-Man-goes-around-owning scenes were pretty cool.
But I do have criticisms. One, they spent too long on suit-designing-and-building scenes. They were very annoying eventually, and especially seeing as we had to sit through two of them. This ties in with my second criticism: there weren't enough Iron-Man-goes-around-owning scenes (and too many suit building scenes). For those of you who have seen it, did you realise there's only about three scenes when he owns people in the suit? And the last criticism is that it was left TOO open for Iron Man 2. We don't have any confirmation if any of the villains died. It didn't finish on a cliffhanger, but it didn't finish on a resolution either. Oh, I have one more. I wanted crossovers with other Marvel superheroes. Apparently in a deleted scene they reveal that Stark Industries built Doc Ock's super-arms from Spiderman 2. WHY WOULDN'T YOU KEEP SOMETHING AWESOME LIKE THAT!!!
Anyway, I'm looking forward to Iron Man 2, and the rest of the Avengers series. At the end of the credits (not that I hung around), Samuel L. Jackson comes to Iron Man and says "Join the Avengers". The Avengers is the Marvel superhero team. It has Iron Man, the Hulk, Captain America, Thor, and Ant-Man. In the next few years all these heroes with have their own film and then finish off with a combined film. Schweet.
Anyway, Iron Man is a high level 2. Holy crap. That was a long review
Tej’s Review of Déjà Vu
A mind blowingly awesome movie has graced my eyes. With a good but slightly confusing plot Déjà vu is definitely two hours of awesomeness which I would be ready to experience 3 times over. Denzel Washington fits his character perfectly and I was only able to pick up a few plot faults. In total I would rate the movie as a level two, definitely worth watching but it’s not going to be a classic.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The day I fought a turnstile
We thought it would be a normal day. But of course, it never is a normal day when you're awesome ninja bloggers.
It started with a quite train trip. Too quiet. We got off the train and blended in with a crowd of school children and accompanied them on their excursion, to hide from evil pirates and assassins and pirate assassins.
But they were working for pirates, and trapped us like a moth in a bath. Although we escaped their clutches, and we wouldn't be safe until we were back on the train. Although, first a tram trip was needed. The tram almost left before Guest Ninja Mark had to get coffee and return in a blink of an eye.
We ran through the train station, until Tej confronted one of his many arch-nemesises. The turnstile.
"I'ma gonna get you Tej and Nick!!!!!!!! Muhahahahahaha!!!!!"
This conversation followed:
"Jiminy jilickers Tej! It's one of your arch-nemesises, the turnstile!"
"You go on Nick, I'll take this battle"
"But you'll miss the Train of Destiny!"
"No I won't. Believe in me, Nick"
"Okay." Tej then leant in for a passionate k......arate kick to the turnstile's head.
Although, Tej's battle plan was flawed because turnstiles don't have heads. This caused the battle to last longer than expected.
Nick had made the Train, and was hoping to see Tej's ninja speed come out of nowhere. But the train was moving!!!
Then out of nowhere, with bloodied blood and turnstile-related wounds Tej leapt through the doors, and lived to blog about the tale.
It started with a quite train trip. Too quiet. We got off the train and blended in with a crowd of school children and accompanied them on their excursion, to hide from evil pirates and assassins and pirate assassins.
But they were working for pirates, and trapped us like a moth in a bath. Although we escaped their clutches, and we wouldn't be safe until we were back on the train. Although, first a tram trip was needed. The tram almost left before Guest Ninja Mark had to get coffee and return in a blink of an eye.
We ran through the train station, until Tej confronted one of his many arch-nemesises. The turnstile.
"I'ma gonna get you Tej and Nick!!!!!!!! Muhahahahahaha!!!!!"
This conversation followed:
"Jiminy jilickers Tej! It's one of your arch-nemesises, the turnstile!"
"You go on Nick, I'll take this battle"
"But you'll miss the Train of Destiny!"
"No I won't. Believe in me, Nick"
"Okay." Tej then leant in for a passionate k......arate kick to the turnstile's head.
Although, Tej's battle plan was flawed because turnstiles don't have heads. This caused the battle to last longer than expected.
Nick had made the Train, and was hoping to see Tej's ninja speed come out of nowhere. But the train was moving!!!
Then out of nowhere, with bloodied blood and turnstile-related wounds Tej leapt through the doors, and lived to blog about the tale.
The return of Daarvid: Part 2
Previously on "The return of Daarvid": Daarvid is a jerk.
"
Hotmail on your mobile. Never miss another e-mail with
"
That was the email that started the war against Daarvid. The man who wants to shoot people who live in houses (because he's jealous cos of his cardboard box) sent us this email on the 13th May, 2008.
The email sucks because Daarvid can't spell, can't use grammar, has sold out, and he has returned from the nega-world where we sent him with our awesome ninja powers many eons ago. And he's pissed.
"I'ma gonna get you Tej and Nick!!!!!!!! Muhahahahahaha!!!!!"
"
hi tej and nick u guyz suk and hav crappy adventures
Hotmail on your mobile. Never miss another e-mail with
"
That was the email that started the war against Daarvid. The man who wants to shoot people who live in houses (because he's jealous cos of his cardboard box) sent us this email on the 13th May, 2008.
The email sucks because Daarvid can't spell, can't use grammar, has sold out, and he has returned from the nega-world where we sent him with our awesome ninja powers many eons ago. And he's pissed.
"I'ma gonna get you Tej and Nick!!!!!!!! Muhahahahahaha!!!!!"
It's on Daarvid. It's on like Donkey Kong.
The forces of awesomeness cannot fail. Otherwise, he will enslave us and force us to walk around topless while pointing angrily. If you don't want this to happen, send spam to this address: muscle_man_777@hotmail.com
The climax awaits. Next time on "The return of Daarvid": Daarvid is a jerk.
The forces of awesomeness cannot fail. Otherwise, he will enslave us and force us to walk around topless while pointing angrily. If you don't want this to happen, send spam to this address: muscle_man_777@hotmail.com
The climax awaits. Next time on "The return of Daarvid": Daarvid is a jerk.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Tej's Review of Shooter
Dear readers as it has already been declared that one of us is a cynic I thought I would give the movie Shooter a review.
With a dynamic start I hoped for a movie that would be worth watching but Shooter was successful at only getting worse as it went on. I barley made it through it and I feel no problem saying I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fork than have to watch Shooter again. Mark Wahlburg brings a bit of light to a basic and bland story line. Danny Glover only succeeds in annoying people with the catastrophic lisp his character has. In total Shooter is a Level 4 at best.
With a dynamic start I hoped for a movie that would be worth watching but Shooter was successful at only getting worse as it went on. I barley made it through it and I feel no problem saying I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fork than have to watch Shooter again. Mark Wahlburg brings a bit of light to a basic and bland story line. Danny Glover only succeeds in annoying people with the catastrophic lisp his character has. In total Shooter is a Level 4 at best.
The return of Daarvid: Part 1
Dear readers,
We have recently been slanderised by the Dark Lord himself. A hairy Hungarian, Daarvid, who has not yet read 1984. He likes to kill puppies and children and child puppies. He is a constant jaywalker and watcher of pirate DVDs. Pirates are bad. He once travelled back in time to kill John Connor, until we stepped in and saved him.
But now, he has returned.....with an angry email.
TO BE CONTINUED
We have recently been slanderised by the Dark Lord himself. A hairy Hungarian, Daarvid, who has not yet read 1984. He likes to kill puppies and children and child puppies. He is a constant jaywalker and watcher of pirate DVDs. Pirates are bad. He once travelled back in time to kill John Connor, until we stepped in and saved him.
But now, he has returned.....with an angry email.
TO BE CONTINUED
Monday, May 12, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Things to Do After We Die
1. Visit our own funerals
2. Kill the pirate that got us
3. Try and unite ourselves with the Force (the Obi-Wan ghost thing)
4. Walk through a wall
5. Haunt an ice cream truck
6. Hook up with hot dead people
7. Find our heirs to the blog
8. Haunt the blog
9. Walk through people
10. Investigate the accuracy of The Sixth Sense
11. Say "I can see you" to people while they get changed
12. Propose to a billboard without getting weird glances (see here)
13. Walk around naked without getting arrested
14. Blog from beyond the grave
15. Bust out "phat beats" with significant historical figures (Abe Lincoln was quite the break dancer)
16. Jump off a cliff
17. Give our own eugoogolies
18. Haunt the internet
19. Challenge the Ghostbusters to a bust-off
20. Go around saying "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Comment your own things to do after you die
2. Kill the pirate that got us
3. Try and unite ourselves with the Force (the Obi-Wan ghost thing)
4. Walk through a wall
5. Haunt an ice cream truck
6. Hook up with hot dead people
7. Find our heirs to the blog
8. Haunt the blog
9. Walk through people
10. Investigate the accuracy of The Sixth Sense
11. Say "I can see you" to people while they get changed
12. Propose to a billboard without getting weird glances (see here)
13. Walk around naked without getting arrested
14. Blog from beyond the grave
15. Bust out "phat beats" with significant historical figures (Abe Lincoln was quite the break dancer)
16. Jump off a cliff
17. Give our own eugoogolies
18. Haunt the internet
19. Challenge the Ghostbusters to a bust-off
20. Go around saying "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Comment your own things to do after you die
Monday, May 5, 2008
SAVE LOST IN AUSTRALIA
http://www.petitiononline.com/LOST815/petition.html
So long, and thanks for all the fish
So long, and thanks for all the fish
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
The entire history of ninjas according to several posters
Ninjas first appeared.
They then took up a house cleaning business, boasting that they could clean your house without disturbing you, by being invisible and silent, like all ninjas are.
They then realised that cleaning sucks, so they began sneaking into parties...
...and meeting beautiful females ninjas.
But, all was not good. Pirates started a war against ninjas, by taunting them constantly.
So, the ninjas pulled out their PhDs and got Batman on their side...
...as well as several dinosaurs, and began their attack!
The ninjas obviously won, and rocked out for the rest of history.
As the caption above says, "No matter how much you accomplish in life you will never be as awesome as this".
They then took up a house cleaning business, boasting that they could clean your house without disturbing you, by being invisible and silent, like all ninjas are.
They then realised that cleaning sucks, so they began sneaking into parties...
...and meeting beautiful females ninjas.
But, all was not good. Pirates started a war against ninjas, by taunting them constantly.
So, the ninjas pulled out their PhDs and got Batman on their side...
...as well as several dinosaurs, and began their attack!
The ninjas obviously won, and rocked out for the rest of history.
As the caption above says, "No matter how much you accomplish in life you will never be as awesome as this".
ALL HAIL CHARIMAN RUDD AND HIS INEVITABLE ASCENSION
Not to get too political, but here are several propaganda items hailing the Chairman Rudd, and his swift revolution!
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