Ninja Wars: The Chickenman Strikes Back

Recently, we killed Daarvid in a spectacular fashion of brimstone and awesomeness.

We thought that after our previous conquests, we had seen the end of him. How wrong we were.
He had returned, in bird form.

"I'ma gonna get you Tej and Nick! Muhahahahahahaha"

We didn't recognise him, until he spoke. Then, we thought "We can take him", until we saw his Chicken Army 2.0."We'ra gonna get you Tej and Nick! Bawk Bawk Bawk Bawk"

Nick: "Haha. I eat chicken for breakfast."
Tej: "But I'm a vegetarian"
Nick: "You'll have to get a sniper then. I guess you have to go to Sniper Valley, and seek the aid of Master Sniper Dias."

TO BE CONTINUED: Will Nick be able to eat that much chicken? Does Sniper Valley even exist? Why does Daarvid have an excessive amount of alcohol?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME ON: Ninja Wars: The one where Daarvid gets defeated AGAIN

A letter to Mitcham Council

Dear the Dark Lords of the Dark Council of Darkness,

I have a bone to pick with you. In the past couple of millenia, you have been busy naming roads. Although your creative skill lacks the ability to come up with good names (eg Ninja Lane) you do have the ability to name things incorrectly. I am currently in battle with Guitar Hero Kate and the Gorge Gang and you had the nerve to call what is clearly the mushroom farm a gorge! No, write exclamation mark, Nick. No don't write that. STOP IT!

Why would you claim it to be Gorge Road when it should be Mushroom Farm Avenue. If this trend of treason continues, I will come...and murder your pets.

Love,
Tej and/or Nick

Mac: The True Story

Although most of our blogging is done on Macs from Ninja HQ, we have decided to reveal their most inner secret.

We have salvaged this from the Apple archives.

A T-flavoured limerick

There once was a man named Mr T,
Who was was floating in the sea,
Along came a shark,
And it said "Fark",
Cos it got punched right in the teeth.

Zombies and Turtles

Ninja Wars: Revenge of the Daarvid

More dark times for the Ninja Republic, but always victory belonged to the ninjas. And failure belongs to Daarvid, yet again.

Until recently, this website was a impenetrable fortress of the Internet. Alas, all was not well. Daarvid was up to his usual tricks. Using his elite army of minions, shown below, Daarvid hacked into the blog and rigged a poll!
He corrupted the results of a question, but with our ninja speed we have upgraded our defenses. The entire poll system has been upgraded, so now only one vote per IP is allowed and the polls are now archived at http://answers.polldaddy.com/ninjatejandninjanick. So now, Daarvid will never be able to be a haxx0r. Now, he is just a simple n00b.

Ninja Wars: Attack of the Nerds

It was a dark time for the Ninja Republic. The Dark Lords of ASMS (pronounced as-meh-ss) and Aberfoyle (pronounced Aberfoyle) and etc. (pronounced et cet-era) were converging on Westminster Not-Abbey for a supreme knowledge-off. We infiltrated their ranks, along with our trusty steeds Guitar Hero Kate and Corporal Punishment and began our campaign for nine dollars each.

After a grueling mind battle, that lasted infinity hours, we came out on top due to the power of ninja. After winning the Scroll of Everlasting General Knowledge,we fled the scene with our booty, and celebrated for many days.

Sadly, we had to leave Guitar Hero Kate behind to the naked men. Also, Corporal Punishment spontaneously combusted and never seen again. If you have seen either of these brave adventurers, please email tejandnick@live.com

MSN bash: Round 1

The first edition of the MSN bash is here, with contributions from all around our contact lists! This one shows how easy it is to move the discussion from maths to boobies.

A says:
u ready to maths things up tomoz?
B says:
unfortunately
A says:
im psyched for tit
B says:
yes, ur psychied for the tit
A says:
shit *it

One about my quest to find The Big Knights DVD:

Nickkk says:
im lookin 4 the big knights
Nickkk says:
and the closest i've got is a similarly named porn movie

The next one needs context. I was invited into a mass convo with a bunch of randoms. After jsut watching a while, I decided to have some fun. (I'm Nickkk)

5 ??JOEL?? let the Bike WHIP YO PTBA foreva GO AUSTRALIA 5 says (8:50 PM): ok evryone who is on this write there first and last name

/*~*\_pAigE_/*~*\ *~* gAGe Ya mA boy... iM neVa gUna lEt u gO!! hArrY yA still mA bUtifuL bOy!!*~* says (8:50 PM):

paige illicevs

-----::{l<-@-T-3}::----- says (8:50 PM):

kate williams lol

#47 Tyson #47 Elly is a mad dog and the coolest person out ilytashh is a legend] says (8:50 PM):

tyson williams

___R@c)-(___ says (8:50 PM):

rachel frost

5 ??JOEL?? let the Bike WHIP YO PTBA foreva GO AUSTRALIA 5 says (8:50 PM):

joel newton

Nickkk says (8:50 PM):

Nick Doestoyvosky

-----::{l<-@-T-3}::----- says (8:50 PM):

who da hell

5 ??JOEL?? let the Bike WHIP YO PTBA foreva GO AUSTRALIA 5 says (8:50 PM):

yea who

Nickkk says (8:50 PM):

u dont rememba me

Nickkk says (8:51 PM):

?

5 ??JOEL?? let the Bike WHIP YO PTBA foreva GO AUSTRALIA 5 says (8:51 PM):

no

5 ??JOEL?? let the Bike WHIP YO PTBA foreva GO AUSTRALIA 5 says (8:51 PM):

were you from

Nickkk says (8:51 PM):

as if, we talked today

Nickkk says (8:51 PM):

Russia

James says (8:51 PM):

whos nick?

Nickkk says (8:51 PM):

but im an exchange student

5 ??JOEL?? let the Bike WHIP YO PTBA foreva GO AUSTRALIA 5 says (8:51 PM):

um what grade

Nickkk says (8:51 PM):

10

5 ??JOEL?? let the Bike WHIP YO PTBA foreva GO AUSTRALIA 5 says (8:52 PM):

which home group

Nickkk says (8:52 PM):

ummmm....all of them

Nickkk has left the conversation.

Keep sending 'em in to tejandnick@live.com

How to make a break-up hilarious

I'm gonna bash you

First of all, go to http://www.bash.org/?search=ninja&sort=0&show=25 just so you understand what we're introducing.

MSN bash.

We all know people say the stupidest and hilariousest things on MSN, but htere is nowhere to share the wonderful things people say. Until now. Here on the blog.

If you email your MSN funnies to tejandnick@live.com we will publish the best of em every week or so. We'll hide names, unless they're needed for the joke to be funny.

Support it, and send in the instant laughs

Pokemon and Lost! Can it get much better?

Probably. But this is still hilarious.