Cos if you do, you're a retard. Like these guys.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Arch-Nemesis of the Week: David Stratton
The new arch-nemesis of the week is this guy:
David Stratton and his army of movie reviewing monkey minions.
Some of you are reading this and go "Hey, I know that guy!. He's a movie reviewer on At The Movies and writes for The Australian." (Of course, that's no one because first of all, no one reads this blog and second of all if you are reading this I doubt you're intelligent enough to watch the ABC or read the Australian)
Mr Stratton never seems to know what is and isn't a good movie. And neither do (most of) the people who comment on his website.
Let me take the only movie that's been reviewed here, Semi-Pro, as an example. He gave it one star out of five. He said "it's only funny if you think a wrestling bear is funny". Well Dave, it is! Now if you think that's a bad review, look at one of his minions, "nickael", who gave it five stars and said "best. movie. ever.". Idiot.
Other films he screwed over include
David Stratton and his army of movie reviewing monkey minions.
Some of you are reading this and go "Hey, I know that guy!. He's a movie reviewer on At The Movies and writes for The Australian." (Of course, that's no one because first of all, no one reads this blog and second of all if you are reading this I doubt you're intelligent enough to watch the ABC or read the Australian)
Mr Stratton never seems to know what is and isn't a good movie. And neither do (most of) the people who comment on his website.
Let me take the only movie that's been reviewed here, Semi-Pro, as an example. He gave it one star out of five. He said "it's only funny if you think a wrestling bear is funny". Well Dave, it is! Now if you think that's a bad review, look at one of his minions, "nickael", who gave it five stars and said "best. movie. ever.". Idiot.
Other films he screwed over include
- The Bourne Ultimatum (2 stars)
- I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (1 star)
- Transformers (3 and a 1/2 stars)
- 300 (2 stars)
- Borat (3 stars)
- The Ringer (1 star)
- Pride and Prejudice (4 and 1/2) (he overrated this one, the rest underrated...obviously)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thoughts on a boring Friday night
So it's boring Friday night, and I'm sitting here thinking "It's a boring Friday night, I should so write a blog".
In my thoughts, I use the word "so" a lot, but rarely speak it. I'll think "I'm so ninja" but I'll say "I'm ninja". Weird, huh? But that's off topic from the original blog's topic.
Oh wait, I don't have a topic yet. So I'll just sit here and think of one
*cricket noises*
Oh, "cricket", that reminds me. IPL starts tonight. For those of you who don't know what IPL is, it's a cricket tournament where the players get paid wheelbarrows of money to play in India for a few weeks. It's on in the middle of the night, which is brilliant, because I hate day compared to night. Tej is in India now I think, and he really should go to a game.
In other news, I'm beating a Mr. Sean in Dream Team atm, and none of my good players have played yet. You suck Sean. And I shall win the bet. I shall win all the bets. You may as well go into the future and give me my money now.
Speaking of "A long time ago in galaxy far far away", guess who won the poll Tej? That's right me. Episode Five wins! Hooray! Thank you to both of you for voting for it.
In other news, I chased a wild pig this week. Well, actually about ten wild pigs. True story.
Damn, I'm still bored.
In my thoughts, I use the word "so" a lot, but rarely speak it. I'll think "I'm so ninja" but I'll say "I'm ninja". Weird, huh? But that's off topic from the original blog's topic.
Oh wait, I don't have a topic yet. So I'll just sit here and think of one
*cricket noises*
Oh, "cricket", that reminds me. IPL starts tonight. For those of you who don't know what IPL is, it's a cricket tournament where the players get paid wheelbarrows of money to play in India for a few weeks. It's on in the middle of the night, which is brilliant, because I hate day compared to night. Tej is in India now I think, and he really should go to a game.
In other news, I'm beating a Mr. Sean in Dream Team atm, and none of my good players have played yet. You suck Sean. And I shall win the bet. I shall win all the bets. You may as well go into the future and give me my money now.
Speaking of "A long time ago in galaxy far far away", guess who won the poll Tej? That's right me. Episode Five wins! Hooray! Thank you to both of you for voting for it.
In other news, I chased a wild pig this week. Well, actually about ten wild pigs. True story.
Damn, I'm still bored.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Nick's Review of: Semi-Pro
Hey all,
Today, many things happened. The ninjas defeated some pirates in an epic battle, I saw Semi-Pro, and Tej proposed to a billboard, but that's another story.
Now Semi-Pro.
I went in expecting a movie that would give me a few laughs, and would perhaps slightly justify my $12. My expectations were fulfilled.
There were a lot of funny bits, (e.g. someone accidentally getting shot in the arm, a bear mauling several people (I'm not sick, but it was hilarious)) but for a Will Ferrell movie, it wasn't that great. Anchorman kicked ass, but this kicked...jejunum.
I would say average Level 3*. Not great, but not bad.
(Level 1 - all-time greats
Level 2 - Excellent films
Level 3- Average/typical films
Level 4 - Bad films
Level 5 - Films you never want to see EVER AGAIN)
Today, many things happened. The ninjas defeated some pirates in an epic battle, I saw Semi-Pro, and Tej proposed to a billboard, but that's another story.
Now Semi-Pro.
I went in expecting a movie that would give me a few laughs, and would perhaps slightly justify my $12. My expectations were fulfilled.
There were a lot of funny bits, (e.g. someone accidentally getting shot in the arm, a bear mauling several people (I'm not sick, but it was hilarious)) but for a Will Ferrell movie, it wasn't that great. Anchorman kicked ass, but this kicked...jejunum.
I would say average Level 3*. Not great, but not bad.
(Level 1 - all-time greats
Level 2 - Excellent films
Level 3- Average/typical films
Level 4 - Bad films
Level 5 - Films you never want to see EVER AGAIN)
Friday, April 11, 2008
The day i killed a dinosaur
When the awesome powers of Ninja Tej met a dinosaur, the results were catastrophic
......for the dinousaur
The angry Hungarian forces of dinosaurs had a key weakness. While Ninja Tej single-handedly fought 42 Triceratopsauruses Ninja Nick peed in their water supply. Bahahahahaha
They died seven days later of lead poisoning.
In other news...
Word of the Day: ace
I aced your mum, Dave H...
Ninja of the Week: Your mum (yes your mum Dave)
Conspiracy Theory of the Week: School Shirts are made of camel spider's faeces.
Opinion of the Week:
......for the dinousaur
The angry Hungarian forces of dinosaurs had a key weakness. While Ninja Tej single-handedly fought 42 Triceratopsauruses Ninja Nick peed in their water supply. Bahahahahaha
They died seven days later of lead poisoning.
In other news...
Word of the Day: ace
I aced your mum, Dave H...
Ninja of the Week: Your mum (yes your mum Dave)
Conspiracy Theory of the Week: School Shirts are made of camel spider's faeces.
Opinion of the Week:
I only put out to ninjas - Kate
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